True Story Of A Stay At Home Mom.

The other day I was thinking someone should write a real book about being a stay at home mom. As a teenager I saw myself in NYC or San Francisco working or digging in he desert find the next big thing not sitting on a couch wondering when will my three old decide to finally stop wearing diapers. My teen self would be shaking her head at me but I also shake me head at how selfish my teen self was.

Back to the book ok so I have read tons of books on how to find your inner peace and I figured out two things.

1. These women have an endless supply of cash to be able to just leave their husband and kids and take a girls vacation.

2. They seem to have maybe two kids 

I’m looking for someone to writes about raising four kids age 7, 5, 3,10 months. Have you tried to take a vacation where half the family screams the whole time because they can’t communicate their feelings yet? I want to know how other families deal with that.

I’m not crafty and to he honest pinterest scares the poop out of me. Oh however I love talking about Geo politics yup I’m a hit at park day. I hate cooking not my thing I do it because well everyone needs to eat but I can cook three dish Chinese, hamburger helper and pork chops. Creative dinning is for those who either don’t have kids or they have kids who eat more than hit dogs and chicken nuggets. 

I have six kids cook books with “No Fail.” hahaha they all failed! I want to read about a mom who fails at getting her kids to eat pizza and who questions why she chose motherhood. I question it sometimes when all four kids are screaming, I have a migraine and there is food everywhere. I swear if I watch My Little Pony one more time I might pull out all my hair.

I have two girls both love princesses and pink (half tomboy half dress loving princess.) my daughter burp, frat, and talk about poop all the time. Ahhgg

I need a real world mom who wakes up in the morning and has to decide between a shower and breakfast. A mothers whos body doesn’t look like it did before and when she goes to the gym her kids scream in the daycare so much they ask her to leave. Yup that’s me. I want to read a book on how a mom solves problems that doesn’t always make everyone happy. Guess what in the real world where you have more than two kids no everyone is happy.

Some days I don’t want to leave the house in fear of what people might think after all my three year old looks like she had been eating mud, my 10 month old has a tee shirt and diaper and wait did anyone put on their shoes before we left the house? Nope.

I’m pretty sure I’m wearing the same clothes since Monday and its Thursday. Where is that mom? I know I’m not perfect there has to be others equally as un perfect as me right? Oh I totally got a shower today. You want to know how? I pocked everything window, door, turned on My Little Pony and the computer and enjoy ten minutes of no one bothering me. Heavenly.

I’m a 35 year old mother of four kids who questions motherhood because its hard but I get snuggle time at least three times a day for five minutes each because that’s all they want to do. I get told I stink at least once a day (even after my shower), I’m told I’m beautiful, crazy, awesome, and sometimes I’m told “I hate you momma.” I have he best husband because some days when I think I’m losing my mind he jumps in and saves the day. He’s my superman!


Its officially I need more sleep.



Review Killer Cupcakes by Leighann Dobbs

Title Killer Cupcakes

Author Leighann Dobbs

Stars 2 out of 5



Lexy Barker has finally opened her dream bakery, gotten ride of her cheating boyfriend, has a hot cop Jack Portillo lives next door and settled down in  grandmothers house. Life seemed perfect until her ex boyfriend is found murdered by Lexy’s cupcakes.

Lexy’s grandmother and her iPad friends try to solve the case so Lexy can reopen her bakery.


This book is as cute, predictable sweet as the cupcake recipes at the back of the book. The romance is obvious from the first chapter which kind of took away from the build up as I like to call it ‘Will They? Won’t They?’ moment.

The second the murder enters the picture its so obvious that I wasn’t sure I wanted to keep reading.

If a book has fun and interesting characters with lots of humor it can make up for the weak and predictable plot but this novel had none. Lexy was too sweet, Jack was too flat and grandma and her “detective club” were lacking something.

I love Nancy Drew when I was a kid and sometimes pull them out for fun but as an adult I want mysteries to be exciting, intriguing not predictable and flat.

I found several grammar and spelling errors though the book is the reason I gave it two stars instead of three.




Spring Break is OVER!!

Spring break has ended and I am jumping for joy. My house will be a little cleaner, life will go back to fighting over homework and life will go a little smoother. I’m excited two authors I have been reading will have to books out close together one on the 29th of March and the other on April 1st and I am so excited!

The first book is the end of the series and I’m happy but said because I love the characters by Nicolette Pierce in the Nadia Wolf series.

The next book is in a series I do not see ending or another 8 books which works for me!

The series is by Evan Katy A Samantha Rialto Mystery: April Undercover.

So many thing have been going my brain can’t keep up.

My baby boy is 10 months super cute, super loveable but he did one thing none of my babies has ever done he stopped nursing. I cried! I love nursing my babies until they are a year old but he has claimed independence from the boob.  Yup my boobs are sad little peas now and I’m dealing with the hormone let down.  Being the last baby for the first time I feel free to be me. Normally if I’m not pregnant, I’m nursing or trying to get pregnant but for the first time in 8 years I feel free and it feel great! Sad and excited Weird I know!

My mother in law has been moved to hospice because her cancer and medication are causing her memory loss.  I have watched my her slowly disappear in front of my eyes. I never know what to say to my husband when he comes home after seeing her so I just pull him into a hug. Cancer sucks!


I totally lost my train of thought due to two girls who decided to pick a fight!

Sorry I disappeared

Spring break is still growing strong and I’m one tried mommy.  We recently went on a three day vacation to San Diego with our four kids from ages 7, 5, 3 and 10 months and learned we are stuck in a weird age where what a seven year old might enjoy a three year old won’t be able to enjoy.  So we thought a win all would be the beach but the 10 month old screamed the whole time unless in my arms.

So the question is what vacation can I take my family on that everyone will enjoy including mom and dad?
During the eight hour drive I enjoyed a few new books and came up with a mystery book that I will never write.

Return to Cherokee Won from Goodreads

Why I read the book: Free book from Goodreads, but sometimes free books are not worth the trouble.
Where I got this book: I won it from Goodreads giveways.
Synopsis: Five years after Al Madison is killed in THE CHEROKEE MURDERS, Ludwig Kruger, great-great grandson of Mad King Ludwig II of Bavaria, buys his pharmacy in Cherokee, Arkansas.
Sinister Ludwig wreaks havoc with the town’s women and conceals Rolf Wolf, a cursed man. Sheriff James Duke is baffled when a beast roams the countryside seeking victims and The Mole, an evil drifter, terrorizes the town. Past characters return and relationships with new characters erupt after Rolf sneaks his long-time lover Countess Viktoriya into town. Triangles run rampant as Sheriff Duke zeroes in on the killers until Ludwig, Rolf and Viktoriya finally clash.
Review: I’m not sure where to start. If I could I would give this book a 1\2 star.
I feel that I am well read and I would know a well written book vs. a poorly written book.
I will start with giving Harvey Mendez credit for writing a book and giving it away to be read, reviewed and criticized by complete strangers.
The Pros:
I need to find Cherokee AK because everyone is beautiful in that town. The 50 year old woman working at the post office is tan with a slim figure. (DREAMS CAN COME TRUE.)
The Cons:
There are way too many characters and they are all one dimensional. The only woman that we know her age is Besty Malone and she is described “early fifties, tan, slim, and very good looking.” Every woman in this town is very good looking and I can’t figure out why all the woman are single if they are all good looking.
The author put the persons thoughts in italic “He felt her warm and intriguing against him. Should I say something? How she feels to him-how she moves? He wasn’t sure- he’d better cool it for now, anyway.” I am not sure why he feels the need to make certain thoughts italic and others not. He’s not a very consistent writer.
I feel one of the most important parts of a book is to be able to identify with a character. Than when something happens to that person or someone they care about it bring out an emotion in the reader. I could not seem to identify with one character or truly feel any emotion. A woman is raped and yet her friend has no sense of compassion.
“Steevee put an arm around her shoulder. I’m sure he’ll understand.”
“He will. It’s just that he’s the only man I’ve ever been with.” she trembled.
“Oh – that won’t matter.” He never once evoked an emotion for what happened to the woman. I only felt like I was reading words on a piece of paper.
To describe one of the characters as possessing a “giant scrotum” and that he’s “mole like” is as bland as can be.
Rolf Wolf, one of many characters, at one point meets a woman Alice (Hair stylist) for the first time and for some reason (like all the woman in this book) she is attractive and has large breasts and so naturally he rubs the back of his head into her breasts after she just met him and finished his hair cut. No matter how cute a guy is, he rubs his head into my breasts he will get a slap to the head. By this point I’m at Chapter 20 and there have been three sex scenes that sound like an 8th grader writing what he thinks sex would be like.
I personally feel this book is extremely poorly written and reminds me of an 8th grader writing in a way he think adults would talk and act. For example, “He watched the women speed up and quickened his pace also.” Why add the word also? It does not enhance the story and it stops the flow of the sentence. There are also several miss spelled words unless good has always been spelled with a (t) goot.
This book is 75 chapters and 356 page with two pages at the very end of the book that are blank and by chapter 21 on page 107 I was completely bored with the book and wanted it to stop reading.

As I said before I feel this book is poorly written and I advise all future writers to read this book as a “What Not To Do When Writing.”

Is it a Midlife Crisis or Rediscovering

First off I’m only 35 so I’m hoping this isn’t my mid life crisis.  I’m a stay at home mom of four the oldest 7 and youngest 10 months and my life revolves around my kids during the day and my husband at night. (Get your mind out of the gutter we are both too tired after dealing with kid drama for that to happen.  Expect for…)

Before children I used to wear my hair in a short pixie cut along with coloring it every color in the rainbow. Black, blue and purple look horrible because of my skin tone of snow white. (red head for a dad.) Anyhow my husband doesn’t ask much from me expect to have my hair long so we made a deal I keep my hair long but I get to color it whatever I want.  I have natural dark brown hair with natural blonde highlights to be honest its quite pretty but my hair is so dark I look even more pale so I decided to go with Cooper Penny Red and most people I meet assume I’m a natural red head again because I am so pale.  I decided since I’m not longer working to put pink highlights in my hair because why not.  My mother found out and called me making me feel like I going though some kind of mommy id life crisis and I have to accept that part of my life is done and move on.  Than I found an earning that wraps around the ear and again I was accused of a mid life crisis.  The other day I bought new shoes and a dress because I’ve lost all my baby weight and I’m back to wearing a size 6 and again accused mid life crisis.

Why can’t I be rediscovering who I am.  I am no longer pregnant or plan to be pregnant so its time to rediscovering myself without the idea I’m going to be pregnant in two years.  I have been pregnant off and on since 2005 so my life has been around that mind set.  Let be honest everything I did was make sure my body was healthy to have another baby (Never once did I work out I had zero energy.) So Everything I owned was new born baby proof with extra stretch in the pants so in case I got pregnant I wouldn’t have to buy new clothes right away.

Forty years ago being  a mom meant all your time was focused on your kids, and husband while your personal life came last.  I refuses to make myself last and I don’t think I am being selfish I think it is mentally healthier to put yourself a head of non essential things.  I would like to say while rediscovering myself I have made many improvements. (No boob jobs or tummy tucks I wear my strips with a badge of honor.) Instead I get my hair done by a professional who happens to be a great friend and lives four door down from me.  I up keep my physical appearance the best I can because lets me honest there is only so much spit up a silk shirt can handle before cute tee shirts become your best friend. I want my husband to want me physically at not for my brains. (Or Lack there of.)  I go out with the friends I have made over the years to see cheesy movies, dinner to talk about being mommies and lets be honest no matter how amazing our husbands are they don’t understand pooping out a kid and the physical tole it takes on the body and the mental abuse we as women put upon our lives to look like we are young twenty somethings. (So never gotta happen.)

I will never have a 26 inch waist, cook like my mother, clean like Joan Clever or dance like Ginger Rogers but I can make me the best I can.  So if someone calls it a midlife crisis so be it. I call it rediscovering myself and being happy.

I love the pink in my hair!!

Reading, Writing and Motherhood

The last week has been a little nutty. Than again is that really different from the normal? Nope.

My 7 year old has decided he doesn’t want to sleep because he will have bad dreams.  So we talked about learning to control, thoughts, feelings and emotions and making sure he is always in charge. That was Sunday fast forward to last night he came stumbling into my room at 3:30 am. Since I have had less than 4 hours of sleep per night I think I grunted and point to the couch in my room and rolled over. I woke up an hour later to a loud snoring body on my couch and I knew sleep wasn’t going to happen so I started to read my kindle. After an hour I decided to write down ideas that had been flowing from my tried brain until I fell back asleep only to be woken up at 7am to get everyone ready for school.

After my oldest was off to school I read what I wrote and couldn’t stop laughing.  my tried brain decided to write down everything I had been feeling at that moment so I thought I would share with you what a sleep deprived mothers brain says.

“Its 4:30 am and I’m wake again due to a child I pooped out of my girlie area 7 years ago. I was told being a mommy is the most wonderful part of life. Nothing will bring you more joy, laughed, hugs, kisses and more joy.  Lies! All Lies!  I haven’t slept in eight years that’s right eight years! I can’t think of a day I have not shouted, yelled, screamed or cried at someone in six years.  I think I am going deaf in one ear from a screaming 10 month old aka using his voice. “Adult Time” well how can that happen when you never sleep.  I think I read more about “Adult Time” than ever have it.  is it sad I dream of a vacation where I can be alone were no one is touching me? My biggest dream has nothing to do with “Adult Time” I dream of sitting by a pool or breach where kids are not allowed and I can have adult conversations that do not include diapers, potty training, saggie breast due to children.”

It goes on some are funny others make me wonder if I was ever meant to be a mommy but when the cobwebs clear out, I get a nice long shower I see how truly blessed I am to have little people who love me so much they want to spend every second of the day with me.  I was blessed to be able to give birth to my four children without any complications.  I have two children who are gifted readers along with being gifted.  I live in a country where my daughter will receive the same education as my boys, and they will have the same chances as their brother to conquer the world.  My son(7) wants to find the cure for cancer and spends hours looking in his toy Microscope, my daughter (5) is reading and wants to become a marine biologists.   the younger two are still in diapers but I’m pretty sure daughter number two (3) wants to be a princess but knowing her she will be the president of a large corporation.

I’m blessed to stay at home and in some ways I’m blessed from lack of sleep. Why you may ask because my children trust me so much that I can chase away their dreams that run into my bed.

Blessed/punished walks a fine line.  I look at life has party sunny, half full and lack of sleep as honor.