Reading, Writing and Motherhood

The last week has been a little nutty. Than again is that really different from the normal? Nope.

My 7 year old has decided he doesn’t want to sleep because he will have bad dreams.  So we talked about learning to control, thoughts, feelings and emotions and making sure he is always in charge. That was Sunday fast forward to last night he came stumbling into my room at 3:30 am. Since I have had less than 4 hours of sleep per night I think I grunted and point to the couch in my room and rolled over. I woke up an hour later to a loud snoring body on my couch and I knew sleep wasn’t going to happen so I started to read my kindle. After an hour I decided to write down ideas that had been flowing from my tried brain until I fell back asleep only to be woken up at 7am to get everyone ready for school.

After my oldest was off to school I read what I wrote and couldn’t stop laughing.  my tried brain decided to write down everything I had been feeling at that moment so I thought I would share with you what a sleep deprived mothers brain says.

“Its 4:30 am and I’m wake again due to a child I pooped out of my girlie area 7 years ago. I was told being a mommy is the most wonderful part of life. Nothing will bring you more joy, laughed, hugs, kisses and more joy.  Lies! All Lies!  I haven’t slept in eight years that’s right eight years! I can’t think of a day I have not shouted, yelled, screamed or cried at someone in six years.  I think I am going deaf in one ear from a screaming 10 month old aka using his voice. “Adult Time” well how can that happen when you never sleep.  I think I read more about “Adult Time” than ever have it.  is it sad I dream of a vacation where I can be alone were no one is touching me? My biggest dream has nothing to do with “Adult Time” I dream of sitting by a pool or breach where kids are not allowed and I can have adult conversations that do not include diapers, potty training, saggie breast due to children.”

It goes on some are funny others make me wonder if I was ever meant to be a mommy but when the cobwebs clear out, I get a nice long shower I see how truly blessed I am to have little people who love me so much they want to spend every second of the day with me.  I was blessed to be able to give birth to my four children without any complications.  I have two children who are gifted readers along with being gifted.  I live in a country where my daughter will receive the same education as my boys, and they will have the same chances as their brother to conquer the world.  My son(7) wants to find the cure for cancer and spends hours looking in his toy Microscope, my daughter (5) is reading and wants to become a marine biologists.   the younger two are still in diapers but I’m pretty sure daughter number two (3) wants to be a princess but knowing her she will be the president of a large corporation.

I’m blessed to stay at home and in some ways I’m blessed from lack of sleep. Why you may ask because my children trust me so much that I can chase away their dreams that run into my bed.

Blessed/punished walks a fine line.  I look at life has party sunny, half full and lack of sleep as honor.


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