Is it a Midlife Crisis or Rediscovering

First off I’m only 35 so I’m hoping this isn’t my mid life crisis.  I’m a stay at home mom of four the oldest 7 and youngest 10 months and my life revolves around my kids during the day and my husband at night. (Get your mind out of the gutter we are both too tired after dealing with kid drama for that to happen.  Expect for…)

Before children I used to wear my hair in a short pixie cut along with coloring it every color in the rainbow. Black, blue and purple look horrible because of my skin tone of snow white. (red head for a dad.) Anyhow my husband doesn’t ask much from me expect to have my hair long so we made a deal I keep my hair long but I get to color it whatever I want.  I have natural dark brown hair with natural blonde highlights to be honest its quite pretty but my hair is so dark I look even more pale so I decided to go with Cooper Penny Red and most people I meet assume I’m a natural red head again because I am so pale.  I decided since I’m not longer working to put pink highlights in my hair because why not.  My mother found out and called me making me feel like I going though some kind of mommy id life crisis and I have to accept that part of my life is done and move on.  Than I found an earning that wraps around the ear and again I was accused of a mid life crisis.  The other day I bought new shoes and a dress because I’ve lost all my baby weight and I’m back to wearing a size 6 and again accused mid life crisis.

Why can’t I be rediscovering who I am.  I am no longer pregnant or plan to be pregnant so its time to rediscovering myself without the idea I’m going to be pregnant in two years.  I have been pregnant off and on since 2005 so my life has been around that mind set.  Let be honest everything I did was make sure my body was healthy to have another baby (Never once did I work out I had zero energy.) So Everything I owned was new born baby proof with extra stretch in the pants so in case I got pregnant I wouldn’t have to buy new clothes right away.

Forty years ago being  a mom meant all your time was focused on your kids, and husband while your personal life came last.  I refuses to make myself last and I don’t think I am being selfish I think it is mentally healthier to put yourself a head of non essential things.  I would like to say while rediscovering myself I have made many improvements. (No boob jobs or tummy tucks I wear my strips with a badge of honor.) Instead I get my hair done by a professional who happens to be a great friend and lives four door down from me.  I up keep my physical appearance the best I can because lets me honest there is only so much spit up a silk shirt can handle before cute tee shirts become your best friend. I want my husband to want me physically at not for my brains. (Or Lack there of.)  I go out with the friends I have made over the years to see cheesy movies, dinner to talk about being mommies and lets be honest no matter how amazing our husbands are they don’t understand pooping out a kid and the physical tole it takes on the body and the mental abuse we as women put upon our lives to look like we are young twenty somethings. (So never gotta happen.)

I will never have a 26 inch waist, cook like my mother, clean like Joan Clever or dance like Ginger Rogers but I can make me the best I can.  So if someone calls it a midlife crisis so be it. I call it rediscovering myself and being happy.

I love the pink in my hair!!


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