Life Lessons

I’m sure I have mentioned this before my mother in law is dying from stage 4 lung cancer. The last few days I have been spending three hours a day at my in laws while my daughter is at preschool.  She can’t do anything for herself because she body is too weak and I have watched several people give their time to help her not be alone, help her use the restroom, change he diaper and feed her a lays in bed.

I miss her laugh it was loud but it always reminded me of a little girl because she laughed at everything. I miss when she would walk, frat and laugh all the while telling me “That’s what happens when you get old.”  I miss her sewing lessons that would have both of us laughing because I would end up taking apart the same project several times until it was perfect.

I miss watching her hold my kids reading to them endlessly, I miss watching millionaire with her and trying to guess the answer, I miss taking our random trips to Tucson to visit her sister. I miss her laugh, smile and miss the way she would make me feel special by surprising me by coming over and picking up the kids so I could get a break. I’m going to miss her taking the kid swimming than feeding them junk food afterwards.

I was feeding her pudding today remember her doing the same thing for her mother in law five years ago before she passed at 95. My mother in law is an amazing example of compassion, love and service. Its so hard to see her physically disappear due to cancer. Cancer has taken my husbands grandfather, brother and now his mom. He would never admit it but my husband is a momma’s boy but in a good way.  I kind of wondered if my father in law really loved his wife because he woukd do and say things that made me question it sometimes but since she’s been sick I have watched him change. He loves his wife. He has stood by her side since last June when she received the news. He feeds her, changes her diaper, helps her to the bathroom, stay with her, cries when he thinks no one is looking and tells her he loves her. My heart aches. They have been married 50 years and now he is saying good bye to the woman he has loves.

Cancer sucks my mother in law was a healthy 69 hear old woman babysitting grandchildren, running around at the park, giving services when it was needed, she even worked out three days a week.


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