Struggling

I wish I could say my Eating Disorder (Anorexia) is behind me or even behind me for now but its not. Every day I struggle to eat. I tell myself I am eating so I can see my children grow up. I eat so I can have the energy I need to play with my kids, clean the house and enjoy the beautiful spring AZ weather. (Its going to be 90 today) But I find myself eating a half a bagel for breakfast, five chicken nuggets for lunch and kids size portions for dinner.

I asked my husband to go clothes shopping with me because well I hate shopping. I know I know what woman hates shopping? Well you found her right here! I was in need of tee shirts for the up coming hot AZ summer. After the stressful shopping trip (For me not him) I learned I was a lot smaller than I thought I was. What weight I thought I had gained was only in my mind.

Body Image is so difficult because what I see is not what others see. I see fat thighs, jiggling arms, a round face and muffin top. I see it every day but what is really there are ribs, thighs, thin arms, and a gaunt face. Sad really that my brain can change the way I feel about myself with one look in the mirror. Stepping on the scale will take me from having the best day to the worst day with a few numbers. (MY scale has disappeared! I love my hubby!)

girl-in-mirror (Thankful I am not this skinny and I don’t ever want to be)

However this is how messed up my brain really us.

My therapist threaten the scale with me this week. Now your wondering how that could be a threat? Well she won’t allow me to see the numbers. Nothing is more stressful than having someone else know how much I weigh and I don’t get to know. Again CRAZY!

I would never wish an eating disorder on my worst enemy. Its a selfish disease that destroys a person from the inside out. Its an addiction that will never go away. I can only maintain a way to keep my mind focused on the positive when the stresses, anxiety, OCD and depression come my way eating away at me. I need to build those walls to keep them away.

Its a life long struggle, its a genetic struggle even if others refuse to see it in their live its there, and its something I will overcome because I do not want my daughters and sons to struggle with eating. I love them too much to allow this to be passed onto another generation.

Review: The Battling McGuire Boys – Cynthia Eden

Title: Confessions

Author: Cynthia Eden

Stars: 4 out of 5

Review:
I love Cynthia Eden’s novels because she has the ability to make you believe one things but at the last second pulls you into a different direction without skipping a beat. Characters are written with a purpose! I have found in the romantic suspense novels that some characters are written in only to be forgotten or killed, but Cynthia Eden makes sure everyone has a purpose from the attorney, to ex boyfriend even the cops standing around. Everyone has a reason and a purpose.

I have read her serial killer series that have kept me on edge biting my fingers and reading all night having to know who the killer is only to be completely shocked. I have read her Mine Series where you wonder if the hero is as twisted as the stalker or killer and now Confessions (The Battling McGuire Boys Book 1).

I have never been a fan of Harlequin Novels for the fact I thought the story was all about sex and the plot is secondary. However I have found their Intrigue books or at least Cynthia Eden books the sex is secondary to the plot.  Trust me there is hot sex in the book that will make a good girl blush but not nearly as bad as I have found in other Harlequin Novels.

This is a second chance story about Grant McGuire and Scarlett Stone high school sweethearts but when Grant joined the army he left Scarlet behind not wanting to hold her back in life. Ten years later Scarlett is accused of murder and goes to the only man who promised to always be there for her.  (Your typical Second Chance Love Story). With that being said this book adds in a twist, turns and a lot of introductions. The entire McGuire children, friends and decade old murder of their parents not to mention a burning house.

Cynthia Eden introduces 5 brothers and 1 sister to the story giving just enough information to understand how each brother will act and what they will do to protect each other. Even with the additional characters who will at some point have their own story the author keeps the story moving forward never missing a beat. The reader will finish Grant and Scarlett story wanting to keep reading the next book in the series because of the cliff hanger.

For a book just over two hundred pages this author crams a lot of information but smoothly keeps the reader reading never once getting lost.

Bottom line if you like the way Cynthia Eden writes then you will love this series.

Amazon: http://www.amazon.com/Confessions-The-Battling-McGuire-Boys/dp/0373698127

B&N http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/confessions-cynthia-eden/1119955730?ean=9780373698127

Book Reviews – Out of Dark (Falcon #1) – Geri Foster

Book Reviews – Out of Dark (Falcon #1) – Geri Foster

17817863

Title Out of Dark (Falcon #1)

Author Geri Foster

Stars 4 out of 5

Review
I found this book free on Amazon and thought why not it might be a bit on the predictable side but maybe fun.  Lets say if you have a check list trust me everything will be check off when it comes to Romantic Military suspense books.

Russians Bad, American’s Good, Tall Dark and Handsome Alpha Male, Sassy Heroine who is in the wrong place at the wrong time, and she swoons over hot alpha males amazing hot body. Along with lots and lots guns, chases, bombs, houses blowing up, ex boyfriends, siblings, best friends better than family and the list goes on.
 Corporate attorney, Emily Richards is sent to Russia to mediate for her law firm but while she is there she tests out her “friends” latest technology for fun. John “Mac” McKinsey is running away from the Russians and needs an escape so he tucks himself away in Emily Hotel room until it is time to leave on her Corporate jet. Insert hot body, amazing abs and curves in all the right places, sex and you have the first few chapters in the book. This book has lots of fast pace actions scenes make up for some of the more cheesy elements in the first half of the book.

I feel Emily Richardson is reason I gave this book its four stars instead of one because of her very easy going character as well as her sassy attitude. Thankfully the author didn’t create a cry in the corner or why did you do that character for Emily otherwise I would have given this book a 1. Thankfully Emily is fun sassy in a good way. She loves her job, her quiet life, and doesn’t want adventure but when it happens she goes with the flow. Emily has baggage but it makes you find her more human. I love that the author doesn’t allow her to get mowed down by the Alpha males in the book and stands on her own to feet.

This book has lot of predictable moments but again the author makes up for that in the banter between characters, actions scenes and a few sexy scenes but instead of having Emily pine away for Mac she moves on.

All is all this book is a quick fun book you can read on those long cold winter nights or tuck it away for summer to read by the pool on that warm vacation you are thinking about.

Review Killer Kung Pao

24925859

Title: Killer Kung Pao

Author: Patrice Lyle

Stars 5 out of 5

Review:
Who knew a wild crazy grand aunt, a pig, a psychic with bright pink hair, a Texans with a gift for drawing and a heart of gold,  a chocolate loving Naturopathic doctor and a little thing called murder would have me laughing non stop.

Patrice Lyle created such a fun outrageous book that will have readers laughing from beginning to the very end of the book.

Mystic Ming a possible fake psychic who likes to make fun of everyone is killed and Piper Meadows- Aunt Alfa is accused of the crime. Piper is a naturopathic doctor not a private investigator but once she prints out her PI flash cards she is committed to solving the case. Oh and a little thing called dead man texting.

I’m not sure I can decided who I loved the most in the book -Piper is amazing with her sweet unbreakable love for her Aunt willing to do anything to keep her safe. Even to the point of playing strip rock paper scissors with a murderer. Aunt Alfa is one crazy fun loving granny who will have you wanting to be just like her. Charles the Psychic Surgeon carries around a scalpel that makes you wonder what he has been up to. Babette who wants to take the place of the dearly departed Mystic Ming and last but not least the Texan cowboy with the heart of gold, lover of chocolate and a possible murderer.

This book is so much fun and the endless one liners will be going though your head all day from Bliss = Karmic Law of Caloric Subtraction to another line Turn calories consumed into calories burned and Oh Holy Chocolate Babka to the ninth degree.

I love this book Piper Meadows will have the readers laughing, cheering and awning all at the same time.

This is the most perfect beach read unless you don’t want people hearing you laugh out loud.