I wish I could keep up here

I wish I could keep on this blog but between like and the book blog I find myself lacking here.

I have been in therapy for a year and I had hoped I would be cured! After all its all in my head according to some people. Honestly it is all in my head I mean the chemicals in my head are all messed up. So I guess I won’t get mad when someone says its all in your head because that is the truth.

My two year old keeps on amazing me. Now first I am a mom of 4 kids the oldest is 9 and yes he is amazing but in a different way. He has empathy for those around him. When his friends hurt he hurts. For example my sons Friend/Enemy drives with us to and from school. One day the boy was extremely nervous about an after school activity that my son wasn’t involved in.  My son threw his arm around the boy who had been teasing him seconds before and said “I know you are nervous and if you want I will stay at school with you until you figure out what you need.” I knew my son would be scared as well but they could be scared together. The other boy instantly calmed down walked out of my sons arm and said “See ya later. I got this.”

He has more compassion and empathy than I find in most adults and I find him amazing. (Well not all the time he still fights with his sister. 🙂

My daughter 6 has been talking since she was 9 months old and some day I wish I could tape her little mouth shut because it doesn’t stop from the second she wakes up until those eyes close at night. She amazes me because he has the ability to love the written word. She reads nonstop from Diary of a wimpy kid to Magic Tree house and the best part she will sit down with her brother or sister and read to them whatever they want. She may fight with her sister but the second someone asked her to read she stops everything and reads them a story. I even find myself caught up in her reading as she spins a world around her. She is turning 7 soon and I keep wondering how this amazing little girl is mine.


My 5 year old drives me crazy but she has the moment amazing ability to love everyone she meets. She loves to give hugs, kisses and just about anything even though she is extremely shy. This little girl will hid when large crowds are around, scared to death to perform in front of people (Which her older sister loves) But when she loves you she loves you with not a thought of anything else. She will hug and kiss that person making sure they know she loves them. She Amazes me with her ability to love all who come into her life.


Now back to my amazing 2 year old.  I lost my mother in law to lung cancer (Never once smoked) When I look at him I see her shining though his eyes. When he laughs all the time, When her makes faces that will have everyone cracking up until we can’t do anything else but laugh. He isn’t like his old brother he loves to punch, hit but what little boy doesn’t. As he is starting to really talk he expresses himself in words but also in his action. He amazes me because he won’t be left behind as he now knows his alphabet, site and sounds. He loves clocks and telling us the numbers. He might not be cuddly unless he is really sick, he never stops moving making sure he is the last child because when 8pm rolls around I am ready for sleep. His desire to learn about the world around him has me believing in the impossible every single day. I know my mother in law is laughing heaven along with the rest of us.

Last but not least my amazing husband and not because he married me but lets face it I am pretty awesome myself.

Everyone struggles to find their happiness but as my husband find his way in this world trying to follow his dream while working in a job that makes him unhappy. I watch every day as ht puts on his tie and goes to work even though he would rather be home or owning his own business. He comes home to a crazy loud house and sometimes a tried, grouch mommy, but he still puts on a smile and hugs each and every one.  He loves me even when I am in my high anxiety mod and nothing I say really is truth and he loves me when I am sitting on the couch drool while watching Micky Mouse Club house for the twenty time today.

He co-wrote a book and published it and I couldn’t be happier for him because this was another dream of his he wasn’t sure would ever come true.

So when people wonder if dreams come true they do they just take a really long time to happen.



I wish I could say every day gets a little better but honest some days just suck while other are wonderful and I have learned it is the way of life.  I might be emotionally constipated almost all the times but I know I am love and in this world its the greatest feeling in the world


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