Lost and yet Found


This last year has been really hard on my 9 year old son. School has never been a challenge in fact he usually is very bored but this year something has changed.  He is struggling in all the subjects he found easy last year. I tried to get his teachers to talk to me but they are busy so I tried emailing than parent teacher conferences I would ask for help from them, advice. In the end  I would be is “Your son is super intelligent he understand stand concepts most adults do not understand but he struggles with his work”.

I told them I would email them every Friday if the could help me keep my son on track. For weeks I got your son is all caught up no problems. Than out of the blue I find what looks to be an assignment stuffed in his backpack along with several others. I email his teachers and they write yes those are 3 weeks late.  3 Weeks Late.  So while I was getting the your son is doing great emails in fact he was falling behind once again.

I have watched my sons anxiety grow epic proportions. I tried to to figure out what was going on but all his teachers would say is everything is wonderful and he would say everything is fine.

I have talk to them many times asking if I should get him tested or have him see someone to find out a way to better control his anxiety and sometimes his day dreaming and all I would get if you want to.

Do I want to? Hell No! I don’t want to be told that I have passed on this wonder gene known as Anxiety and ADD.

After lots of talking with my Hubby we are taking my oldest in to see a shirk who is a non medication unless needed. I figured why crawl to the top when I might as well to jump.

I want to hear he is a normal slightly stressed out 10 year old but in my heart I know differently.

To top off my week.  My daughters preschool teacher calls wanting to have a sit down two weeks before preschool is out to tell me my 5 year old is having trouble hearing and blending sounds. She might have dyslexia and I should get her tested.

As I set here I had already cried my eyes out wondering why I had children when I knew without a doubt that my children would have a 85% chance of having my disabilities.

My 5 year old daughter and my 3 year old son both giggled and ran around my feet as I cried and I realized I wouldn’t give any of this up.  I will fight for my kids, I will love my kids no matter what (Even if they call me from Jail at 3am Needing to bailed out of jail. They will just have to wait until I am truly up at 8am to get them.) I will do anything I can so they are happy, healthy and they can be who they are meant to be and not what society tells them to be.


On a wonderful side note I am still on the 20mg of Vyvanse (month 2) and my life is wonderful in the fact I am able to get my thoughts in one direction, I have been able to organize my house the way I always wanted too and my therapist has moved me from once a week appts to every 2 weeks.  There is life at the end of the tunnel.  I will always deal with an eating disorder I will never love food but I will eat so my family will have me around until I am old and 99 1\2 like my grandmother.   So they know what it is like to change diapers.


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